Kylee's First Day

Is there anything cuter than the first day of preschool? Today was Kylee's day to shine.

Dad took Kylee to Casey's early this morning for a breakfast of champions: chocolate donut covered in sprinkles.

And strawberry milk served in a princess teacup.

Kylee was so excited for her big day!


And a little goofy.

And totally adorable.

At 4 year old preschool the kids are expected to "sign in" each day. Kylee was a model of concentration. :)

Best buddies.

Kylee will be at school every MWF from 9:00-11:30 and I thought I would L-O-V-E the time to myself. But it was awfully quiet around here! She reported that they learned all about the classroom rules and even sang me a cute little song about them. My little girl loves preschool!

Weekend getaway to Ottumwa

Now, if you're from around here, you might not consider Ottumwa to be much of a vacation destination. :) But let me tell you we had a wonderful weekend visiting Uncle Kevin there. And as far as I'm concerned, anything that includes swimming, jumping on hotel beds, and racing go karts qualifies as a vacation.

The whole crew out supporting Kev's football team.

This has to be Uncle Kyle's first tea party. :)

I was soooo happy that I got this picture! You better believe that caused one heck of a splash!





I was equally happy to get this picture. We got one like this a couple years ago with just the 3 brothers; this time we added Kael.

Kael wanted to share his banana malt with everyone. Mmmm.

Kylee's strawberry shortcake was the prettiest thing on the menu.

Grandpa Keith is a natural!

Now that's just funny.

Thanks for a great weekend guys!

Lists

I have a bit of a list problem. I make lists for EVERYTHING. Groceries, menus, things to do, things for Kent to do....I could make a giant list of all the lists I have. Sometimes I put things on my to do list that I have already done just so I can have the satisfaction of crossing things off. It's a sickness, I know.


This week I knocked a couple of big things off my list and it felt great! Remember when I was writing about The Happiness Project? One of her happiness mantras is "Tackle A Nagging Task", and in this case, mine was renewing our passports.


Last year on our anniversary Kent and I had wanted to take a trip and weren't sure where we wanted to go. We quickly ruled out anything out of the country because we couldn't find Kent's passport. Ugh. We also found out that mine was going to expire soon so I put "renewing passports" on my list of things to do, and we happily decided to stay stateside and go to The Keys.



Well friends, I'm happy to report that our applications are in the mail and we should be receiving our new passports shortly! Woo hoo!


"So, where are we going to go?" Kent asked. "Wanna climb Mount Everest or something?"

"Heck no!" I replied. "But doesn't it feel nice that we can go anywhere now?!"

We also updated our wills, another biggie that's been on my to do list for waaaaay too long.

So how about you? What to do list item have you tackled lately?

A Step Ahead

We've made it through the first couple weeks of school and I can't help but letting my mind wander back to that tough first day Kael had. I keep coming back to one frustrating truth.

For the past 6 years I've tried to stay a step ahead of Kael. I try to plan everything. I have to think what he's going to think before he's thought about it. I have to guess how he's going to respond to a certain situation so I can have a plan ready when things fall apart.


So, that Monday, I was ready. We had planned. We had discussed. But being one step ahead of Kael just wasn't good enough to get him into my arms after that first day of school. Last year during a snow storm the kids got out of school early and someone inadvertantly told Kael to go wait in the car line. I didn't find him for 15 minutes, both of us wandering and waiting in a blizzard, even though I had prepped him before school that day, "Kael it's snowing a lot. If you get out of school early I will pick you up in the same place I pick you up every other day for school, ok?"


I can plan for Kael and I can plan for me, but I can't always plan for what other people are going to do. When that someone told him to wait in the car line, I was completely unprepared for that and so was Kael. I have to be two steps ahead. At least.


It's really hard when you find out that your best isn't good enough.

Teaching autistic kids to "be flexible" and "go with the flow" is so difficult. Kael is a smart kid. He's a good kid. It's just that this world we live in can be so darn unpredictable sometimes.

In the meantime I've been brainstorming some ideas with his teachers and we're in the process of getting a flow chart system going for him during the school day when his mind wanders. We used this last year and it helped keep him on track. Also we're going to stick reminder notes to his backpack before he leaves school. "Check mailbox", "Math homework", "Bring home lunchbox" are some examples we use so he can independently take care of the things he needs to remember to do or pick up before leaving school.

As we get used to this first grade routine, my best will get better and so will Kael's.

The I Hate Homework bandwagon is passing through...want to hop on?

Tuesday night was Kael's Back To School Night and I was so pleased with all the information I learned. I had been feeling kind of out of the loop since Kael doesn't have much to say when he gets home from school. His new teacher did share with me that she had read almost the entire book that I had given her at the beginning of the year which included a list of things to know about Kael, his official diagnosis papers, his current IEP, his progress reports, highlighted literature, and a favorite book of mine. She seemed very happy to have Kael's Notebook and praised my organizational skills. The book does happen to be color coded with clearly labeled tabs to separate each section. I was very happy that she had taken the time to read it- that speaks volumes to me about what a dedicated teacher she is.

In Kael's kindergarten year, I volunteered in the classroom once a week and got weekly newsletters from the teacher about what the kids would be doing/learning that week, so I really knew what was going on.

Well, good-bye kindergarten and hello first grade. They've also already taken away a recess- in kindergarten he had 3 recesses every day and in first grade he gets just 2 recesses a day, and only 1 on Wednesdays because of late start.

Another little bit of information I learned at Back To School Night was that the first graders would start having homework. Every day. You read that right. Kael now has math homework every single day. In addition to that, he will have reading homework as assigned. We parents have also been provided with websites that correlate to the kids' Math and Reading curriculum and it is strongly recommended that we spend some time with the kids at home working on these things. It was also suggested that we parents spend some time working on the D'Nealian handwriting at home so the kids will be better prepared once they start learning cursive in a couple years. Trouble is, Kael holds the pencil wrong. He always has and it makes any writing task VERY taxing for him. A good friend (whose son is in 4th grade but has the same diagnosis as Kael) asked if he ever got any OT for poor muscle control/strength in his hands. We are still waiting to hear back from Child Serve about whether Kael qualifies. Anyhow, you might suggest grippies. We have them. In every shape, color and size. He still holds it wrong. In his defense, I actually hold the pencil incorrectly, resting it on my fourth finger instead of my middle finger. But I promise I tried to teach him the right way!

So, I made a little list the other night of how Kael's day goes. Actually, I posted these lists in his room and it really seems to be helping him become independent in finishing these jobs on his own without constant reminders. Instead of sounding like a broken record saying, "Kael, have you brushed your teeth yet? I told you to make your bed! Hurry up and get dressed!" All I have to say is, "Kael go check to see that all your morning jobs are done" and he gets right to it. I love that he can read. So helpful.

Morning jobs:
Eat breakfast
Brush teeth
Make bed
Get dressed
Get backpack and lunch ready to go
Practice tying shoes

Afternoon jobs:
Give important papers from backpack to Mom
Put backpack and lunchbox away
Pick out clothes for tomorrow
Check lunch menu for tomorrow and decide hot/cold
Do homework, which inlcudes the following:
Math homework
Read ten minutes aloud to Mom (a book is sent home by his teacher, which we are expected to read, log, and return)
Do EveryDay Math games online
Reread Lead 21 (literacy curriculum) books online
Practice D'Nealian handwriting


I told Kent the other day that my new official title should be Secretary of Kael. Seriously! It's like another job keeping track of all his schedules and papers. It tires me out just thinking about it. You should have seen the look on Kael's face yesterday when I told him it was time to do homework. He just gave me this, "I'm so exhausted please don't make me" look. To be fair, he had been up since 3:00 that morning (which means that I, too, had been up since 3:00) AND he had already put in a full day's work. He still refers to school as his work, by the way. I think it's adorable. He'll say, "Mom tonight I gotta go to bed early because I've got work tomorrow!"

So, maybe you're thinking...why don't I just NOT have Kael do his homework? Lots and lots and lots of kids with autism struggle with the home/school divide. In Kael's mind, school stuff should happen at school and home is kind of...safe. He doesn't want to be pushed at school for 8 hours straight then have to come home and deal with it again. So, it's not uncommon for autistic children to have different expectations as far as homework goes.

I could. I could push for it. I could probably get it written into his IEP that Kael Does Not Do Homework. I'm not saying it'll never get to that point. But I'm not ready to give up yet. I know Kael and I know this homework thing is new. A month from now it'll be part of the routine and he'll just know that he has to do it. But I feel like if I don't at least try to get him to do his homework, he really could be missing out on so many learning opportunities.

Yesterday as he literally collapsed on his paper, I rallied to his side. "Kael, let's take a short break. I can see you're getting frustrated. When you come back we're going to finish this together!" Five minutes later, we struggled through it and I praised him. "Kael, it was hard, but you did it. We make such a great team. I will help you every day, as long as you need. Someday you might not even need my help! But in the meantime, we can do it buddy. Your teacher will be so happy tomorrow when you show up at school with your work done. And I know how proud you'll feel when you show her your completed homework. Hang in there buddy...we can do this!"

It literally takes an army and (at least while Kent is out of town) I am only one person. I am secretary, I am cheerleader, I am sounding board, I am a teammate, and I am everything to this little boy. And I will not give up, I will not give in and we will not fail.

The I Hate Homework bandwagon is passing through and I'm just gonna wave it on by. We won't be hopping on this time around.

Thanks to those of you who have kept Kael in your thoughts and prayers as he's headed back to school. A special thanks to anyone who's taken the time to write or call me; your thoughtful words are a breath of fresh air to a sometimes heavy day.

Hit me with your best shot

Kent and I were evidently in goofy moods when we were out on the boat last Sunday afternoon. I'm not even sure how we got the idea to stage these photos but they sure do make me laugh when I see them.

I'm really thankful for a husband who can be a little crazy with me after all these years. I'm still getting used to having him be gone with this new job, but I have to say that absence does make the heart grow fonder. I miss ya Kent...now hurry home!!!

Friday Fun

Summer's over but I haven't posted all the fun pictures and stories that I wanted to! Here's my last ditch effort to relive summer just a teeny bit. :)

I can't belive I haven't blogged about King's Pointe yet! I could go on and on and on about how much fun we had at this place. Kent declared it to be one of the best waterpark hotels we've stayed at (and we've been to a lot my friends) so that's really saying something. Right when you walk in the hotel lobby there are HUGE windows overlooking the lake and it is beautiful. They had me at hello. Here's a few photos from the trip.

Silly Garmin...we're not driving in the middle of nowhere! Clearly it's not up to date on how far Hwy 20 goes through now. :) The kids thought it was hilarious and kept telling Kent to get back on the road.

I acutally snapped this picture on the way out of town because by that time no one wanted to get out of the car for a picture.

Room with a view? I think so. Not a bad way to wake up.

Yeah, Kael can go off the high dive.

I really really really wanted to climb the lighthouse. Just 'cause.

Soooo glad we did.

We have to find some way to kill time before the waterpark opens. Funny pictures by tree carvings of bears? Check.

Moving on....State Fair! As far as I'm concerned, especially if you live in Central Iowa, it's mandatory to go to the fair. And eat something on a stick. Kael had a pork chop on a stick and Kylee had a candy stick. So representative of their personalities. Ha!

Kylee is not as impressed as I thought she might be by the butter cow. So I made a growly face with her. There was, however, a giant birthday card marking its (his/her?) 100th birthday. Kudos to the person who wrote, "Holy cow! You're 100!" That comment had me laughing for the rest of the night.

Best 50 cents I ever spent. Kylee made this Tropical Fruit candy stick last for almost the entire night.

Every year my dad and I share a plate of these chips. Sooooo good.

Ok, so we let Kent share too. ;) It is a big plate, after all.

Not that he should have been hungry after he ate this Giant Tenderloin....

Ok, that's all the fair fun. Here's just some random stuff. Kael is getting to be quite the SK8R boy. Mostly I just wanted to write SK8R so that's why I posted this picture.

Kylee loves babies.

Kael too.

If summer passed you by and you didn't go here or here you are truly missing out. Because they are under the same roof! Did you hear that? Donuts on one side, bagels on the other. Brilliant. Giant donut for Kael and a pink (Berry Berry) bagel with frosting for Kylee.

A few more random comments:

We were recently out around the fire pit at our house with our neighbors. (Tell me you're using these for s'mores at your house too? They're perfect! Another great idea my neighbor has is to use these cookies instead of graham crackers and chocolate. The chocolate is already on the cookie! Brilliant!) Anyhow, our college-bound, 18 year old neighbor went home for a sec, saying that he had a going away present for Kael and Kylee. He came back with two boxes filled with toys- one full of stuffed animals for Kylee and one filled with action figures for Kael. How sweet, right? It made me feel like I was living Toy Story 3 for a minute!

Kylee Kay is well on her way to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. I'll keep you posted.

My little Kylee started her modeling career. Well, I'm exaggerating a tiny bit but my super creative girlfriend makes some adorable girls clothes. You can check them out here. She asked Kylee to model some of the clothes for her Etsy site and Kylee was honored. She really had fun posing with a bunch of other little girls and the pictures turned out so cute! I haven't ordered it yet but Kylee definitely needs one of those pleated skirts.

I'm not promising that wraps up our Summer Fun, but that's all I've got for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful that I quickly found Kael after school both Tuesday and Wednesday.

I'm thankful for rainy day fun.

I'm thankful Kent works in town now. He dropped Kael off at school today and is going to eat lunch with him.

I'm thankful for a really thoughtful e-mail from my sister after I had a crummy day on Monday with Kael. Sisters just always know the right thing to say. :)

I'm thankful that I don't have to cook tonight! El Azteca here we come!

I'm really thankful for me and Kent's Sunday Night Dates. Sunday is close to edging out Thursday as my favorite day of the week. I love that nothing gets in the way of our Sunday Nights.

I'm thankful that Kent's been back in town a lot and traveling less. Mostly because when he's around we have decent food in the house. Once while he was gone I had no other fruit choice for the kids but some dehydrated strawberries from the "Pink Cereal" (Special K Red Berries) I was having for supper. Yeah that really happened. I picked out some of the strawberries from the cereal box and fed them to my kids, feeling a bit resourceful.

I'm really really thankful for a kind message from Kent's cousin after she learned of my stressful day after school on Monday. The two minutes she took out of her day to text me totally lifted my spirits and got my day off to a great start.

Happy Thursday everyone!

Have You Filled A Bucket Today?

Have you read this children's book? We've spent a lot of time talking about it around here this week- about how you can make others feel good and how you can feel good about yourself. Check it out!

The Birthday Story Part II

Here are a few more pictures and stories from Kylee's birthday.

Kylee loved her watermelon cake but there was no way we were going to be able to eat all of it so we invited some of the neighbor kids over to share and had a little cake party on our front steps. Kudos to Uncle Kevin for joining us in the fun. :)



One thing Kylee really wanted to do on her birthday was go to Triad to play in their open gym but it wasn't open on her actual birthday so we went a day early. She loved it!




On Sunday, we celebrated Kylee's birthday with Kent's family. She shares a birthday with Kent's grandma which is pretty special. Kylee LOVED her Dora cake and I wish I could take credit for it but one of Cindy's neighbors made it. Pretty cool, huh? (My real camera's flash stopped working so it's being sent in to get fixed...in the meantime I've got these cell phone pictures.)

Kylee and Grandma Doe- the birthday girls!

The goods. Kylee was showered with presents and loved opening every one. What a generous family we have!

Lastly I'd like to give a shout out to my little sister- Happy Birthday Tammy T! Hope you have a great day!!!!

A Mom's Hardest Job

Today Kael started first grade. Drop off went well. He said hi to lots of friends on the way in. Found his room and his desk easily and waved me good-bye with a smile.

I thought about him often during the day. Wondered how lunch went. Anxious to hear if he found his best buddy (now in a different class) at recess. Most of all, just ready to see him and hear about his day.

I got to school early- long before the bell rang. I parked in the same spot as last year and walked up the hill past the playground to meet Kael the same way I did last year. We talked about this routine last night before bed and again this morning when I dropped him off. I don't have the luxury (sarcasm fully intended) of waiting for Kael in the car line because I have to be back to my house right after school since some of my babysitting girls come after school.

So, school is out at 2:55 and I wait. And wait and wait. I see some other first graders trickle out but not Kael. By about 3:10 I walk over to the car line just in case, to see if Kael is there. He's not, but his old kindergarten teacher was. She saw me and said, "Where's Kael?" I was hoping she'd seen him over there, but she promised he hadn't walked by that way. (He's a pretty noticeable kid with his red hair, and I had dressed him in a bright orange shirt today.) I walk into the school and back to his room and find his teacher. "Hi!" she started brightly...then quickly realized, "Oh no, you don't have Kael."

No, I didn't have Kael. By Ankeny standards, Kael's school is not a big one. By this time I had been by both exits of the school and by the parking lot and hadn't seen him. I held it together, sort of, and told her I'd run to the van to see if somehow he slipped by me and was waiting for me there. He wasn't.

Now I'm getting worried. I race back up the hill (poor Kylee and her little buddy were hanging in there so well...it was pushing 90 degrees and we had been alll over the school by now.)

So you can better follow the story I'll explain this: at our school, there are 3 types of kids.

1. Car line kids: these kids get picked up in the parking lot in a giant line of cars. They all wait together with a group of teachers and when their mom/designated pick-up-ee pulls up, they hop in and off they go.

2. Bus kids: self-explanatory

3. Walkers: all kids who don't fall into one of the first two categories are grouped into this category. So Kael is considered a walker because he walks out of the building and meets me by the front of the school.

So, now that I know he's not in the front of the school, not by the playground, not waiting in the car line and not by the van I am starting to get really anxious. My mind wandered. Kael is a "walker"....did he somehow get confused by that term and think he's supposed to walk home? Just the thought of that made me sick to my stomach because I knew Kael would know the way home if someone told him to go ahead and walk home. I also knew that he would have to cross a very busy street where there are no cross walks. I broke and started crying.

I made my way into the building and the secretary gave me a sympathetic smile and pointed. "Mrs. Funk has him and they headed that way." Relief. I hurried towards his room and a couple of slow moving people in front of me noticed my hurry. "What happened? Did you lose your kid?" This is where the title of this post comes in. "No, he lost me," I snapped. I was where I was supposed to be. I had explained to him a million times exactly how the after school routine should play out.

I knew my emotions were raw but I felt like they looked at me like I was that crazy mom who showed up twenty minutes late to pick up their kid. Or maybe they thought I had forgotten to explain precisely where I would meet up with Kael. (I hadn't. We talked about it no less than twenty times.) They looked at me like I was that mom. The unprepared, frazzled one. I'm not. So I was a little snappy. At least I spared them a lecture on how autistic kids have a tough time with change, how they can get overwhelmed in crowds and unreahearsed routines even if we did the same routine a hundred times last year, it was somehow different to him now that he's in first grade. His mind doesn't generalize.

I finally got to Kael's room and found my red- hair, red-faced little boy and I could tell he'd been crying. Kael doesn't cry, for the record. His first words, "I'm so sorry Mom. I didn't know where you were."

Again, this is where my job becomes difficult. I wanted to say, "Kael, don't you remember how we talked about where I was going to wait for you after school? Do you remember last year because it's supposed to be the exact same this year?" My heart wanted to question him, "Where have you been? I was so worried about you!"

I said none of that. I put on a happy face and said, "Kael I'm sorry too. We must have just missed each other somehow. I'm glad to see you now, and I can't wait to hear all about your day." I didn't want him thinking it was his fault at all. Beacause it really wasn't. Somehow we really did just miss each other. I was so proud of him for making his way back to the school after he couldn't find me. He showed some really grown up problem solving skills. And I told him so.

It was nearly a full thirty minutes after school let out before I had my first grader in my arms. Quick to recover, Kael said (while I was still choking back tears) as we walked hand in hand out the doors, "Guess what Mom? We listened to one of my favorite songs in music class today!"

I'd like to say he never thought about it again but I can tell he's still thinking about it. His first day didn't go exactly as well as he'd hoped. He's a worrier. He actually just came down a minute ago and said, "Mom I'm really worried about school tomorrow. What if I forget that you're going to wait for me by the tree? And also I know it's PE tomorrow but I am very worried about wearing tennis shoes all day. I have to scrunch up my toes too much and they will hurt so can I just wear flip flops and change at PE time?"

A mom's hardest job is to hold it together when things are falling apart. To put on a smile and assure their kids everything will be fine. To not tell off the other judgy moms. To take the blame when it wasn't necessarily their fault.

I know that tomorrow will be better, the routine will become seamless and this will soon be a distant memory.

How was your first day?