A Step Ahead

We've made it through the first couple weeks of school and I can't help but letting my mind wander back to that tough first day Kael had. I keep coming back to one frustrating truth.

For the past 6 years I've tried to stay a step ahead of Kael. I try to plan everything. I have to think what he's going to think before he's thought about it. I have to guess how he's going to respond to a certain situation so I can have a plan ready when things fall apart.


So, that Monday, I was ready. We had planned. We had discussed. But being one step ahead of Kael just wasn't good enough to get him into my arms after that first day of school. Last year during a snow storm the kids got out of school early and someone inadvertantly told Kael to go wait in the car line. I didn't find him for 15 minutes, both of us wandering and waiting in a blizzard, even though I had prepped him before school that day, "Kael it's snowing a lot. If you get out of school early I will pick you up in the same place I pick you up every other day for school, ok?"


I can plan for Kael and I can plan for me, but I can't always plan for what other people are going to do. When that someone told him to wait in the car line, I was completely unprepared for that and so was Kael. I have to be two steps ahead. At least.


It's really hard when you find out that your best isn't good enough.

Teaching autistic kids to "be flexible" and "go with the flow" is so difficult. Kael is a smart kid. He's a good kid. It's just that this world we live in can be so darn unpredictable sometimes.

In the meantime I've been brainstorming some ideas with his teachers and we're in the process of getting a flow chart system going for him during the school day when his mind wanders. We used this last year and it helped keep him on track. Also we're going to stick reminder notes to his backpack before he leaves school. "Check mailbox", "Math homework", "Bring home lunchbox" are some examples we use so he can independently take care of the things he needs to remember to do or pick up before leaving school.

As we get used to this first grade routine, my best will get better and so will Kael's.