Tuesday night was Kael's Back To School Night and I was so pleased with all the information I learned. I had been feeling kind of out of the loop since Kael doesn't have much to say when he gets home from school. His new teacher did share with me that she had read almost the entire book that I had given her at the beginning of the year which included a list of things to know about Kael, his official diagnosis papers, his current IEP, his progress reports, highlighted literature, and a favorite book of mine. She seemed very happy to have Kael's Notebook and praised my organizational skills. The book does happen to be color coded with clearly labeled tabs to separate each section. I was very happy that she had taken the time to read it- that speaks volumes to me about what a dedicated teacher she is.
In Kael's kindergarten year, I volunteered in the classroom once a week and got weekly newsletters from the teacher about what the kids would be doing/learning that week, so I really knew what was going on.
Well, good-bye kindergarten and hello first grade. They've also already taken away a recess- in kindergarten he had 3 recesses every day and in first grade he gets just 2 recesses a day, and only 1 on Wednesdays because of late start.
Another little bit of information I learned at Back To School Night was that the first graders would start having homework. Every day. You read that right. Kael now has math homework every single day. In addition to that, he will have reading homework as assigned. We parents have also been provided with websites that correlate to the kids' Math and Reading curriculum and it is strongly recommended that we spend some time with the kids at home working on these things. It was also suggested that we parents spend some time working on the D'Nealian handwriting at home so the kids will be better prepared once they start learning cursive in a couple years. Trouble is, Kael holds the pencil wrong. He always has and it makes any writing task VERY taxing for him. A good friend (whose son is in 4th grade but has the same diagnosis as Kael) asked if he ever got any OT for poor muscle control/strength in his hands. We are still waiting to hear back from Child Serve about whether Kael qualifies. Anyhow, you might suggest grippies. We have them. In every shape, color and size. He still holds it wrong. In his defense, I actually hold the pencil incorrectly, resting it on my fourth finger instead of my middle finger. But I promise I tried to teach him the right way!
So, I made a little list the other night of how Kael's day goes. Actually, I posted these lists in his room and it really seems to be helping him become independent in finishing these jobs on his own without constant reminders. Instead of sounding like a broken record saying, "Kael, have you brushed your teeth yet? I told you to make your bed! Hurry up and get dressed!" All I have to say is, "Kael go check to see that all your morning jobs are done" and he gets right to it. I love that he can read. So helpful.
Morning jobs:
Eat breakfast
Brush teeth
Make bed
Get dressed
Get backpack and lunch ready to go
Practice tying shoes
Afternoon jobs:
Give important papers from backpack to Mom
Put backpack and lunchbox away
Pick out clothes for tomorrow
Check lunch menu for tomorrow and decide hot/cold
Do homework, which inlcudes the following:
Math homework
Read ten minutes aloud to Mom (a book is sent home by his teacher, which we are expected to read, log, and return)
Do EveryDay Math games online
Reread Lead 21 (literacy curriculum) books online
Practice D'Nealian handwriting
I told Kent the other day that my new official title should be Secretary of Kael. Seriously! It's like another job keeping track of all his schedules and papers. It tires me out just thinking about it. You should have seen the look on Kael's face yesterday when I told him it was time to do homework. He just gave me this, "I'm so exhausted please don't make me" look. To be fair, he had been up since 3:00 that morning (which means that I, too, had been up since 3:00) AND he had already put in a full day's work. He still refers to school as his work, by the way. I think it's adorable. He'll say, "Mom tonight I gotta go to bed early because I've got work tomorrow!"
So, maybe you're thinking...why don't I just NOT have Kael do his homework? Lots and lots and lots of kids with autism struggle with the home/school divide. In Kael's mind, school stuff should happen at school and home is kind of...safe. He doesn't want to be pushed at school for 8 hours straight then have to come home and deal with it again. So, it's not uncommon for autistic children to have different expectations as far as homework goes.
I could. I could push for it. I could probably get it written into his IEP that Kael Does Not Do Homework. I'm not saying it'll never get to that point. But I'm not ready to give up yet. I know Kael and I know this homework thing is new. A month from now it'll be part of the routine and he'll just know that he has to do it. But I feel like if I don't at least try to get him to do his homework, he really could be missing out on so many learning opportunities.
Yesterday as he literally collapsed on his paper, I rallied to his side. "Kael, let's take a short break. I can see you're getting frustrated. When you come back we're going to finish this together!" Five minutes later, we struggled through it and I praised him. "Kael, it was hard, but you did it. We make such a great team. I will help you every day, as long as you need. Someday you might not even need my help! But in the meantime, we can do it buddy. Your teacher will be so happy tomorrow when you show up at school with your work done. And I know how proud you'll feel when you show her your completed homework. Hang in there buddy...we can do this!"
It literally takes an army and (at least while Kent is out of town) I am only one person. I am secretary, I am cheerleader, I am sounding board, I am a teammate, and I am everything to this little boy. And I will not give up, I will not give in and we will not fail.
The I Hate Homework bandwagon is passing through and I'm just gonna wave it on by. We won't be hopping on this time around.
Thanks to those of you who have kept Kael in your thoughts and prayers as he's headed back to school. A special thanks to anyone who's taken the time to write or call me; your thoughtful words are a breath of fresh air to a sometimes heavy day.
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