Prayer

There's a boy at Kael's school who is not very kind.  Specifically, he's not very kind to Kael.  I have spoken with teachers, the guidance counselor, other parents and generally anyone who might have some suggestions of what I can say to Kael to make him feel better and understand that it's not his fault the other boy treats him so poorly.
I pray a lot for Kael.  I pray that he get through the school day without having mean things said to him.  I pray that Kael has the strength to ignore the other boy.  I pray that Kael continues to not fight back by saying mean things in return.  I pray that he finds at least one close friend who understands him.

Sometimes it makes me sad, this world we live in and that kids like Kael who have the kindest heart are often the ones who are taken advantage of.  Last night was one of those nights that it made me sad.  I laid in bed, tears flowing (thanks, pregnancy hormones) and I just couldn't sleep.  I went in Kael's room to watch him sleep and then it hit me.  Kael's ok, Laura. He's got a million people who think he's the greatest kid in the world.  He's got so many people who love him and support him......pray for the other one. Pray for the one who's mean to Kael.  Chances are he doesn't have as much love in his life as Kael does.

So I did.  The next day I picked Kael up from school and he was the first kid out the door.  "Wow you must be in a good mood today!" I noted. "Yeah, Mom.  You'll never guess what! The one who's usually mean to me, you know who I'm talking about? Well, today he wasn't mean to me at all and he even gave me a pencil!"

For those of you unfamiliar with first grade social laws, the giving/receiving of a pencil is kind of a big deal.  At the beginning of the year kids were all supposed to be using the standard yellow number two pencils and slowly, kids started bringing other "cooler" pencils from home.  If someone gives you such a pencil, well, it speaks volumes about what that person really thinks of you. :)

Thankful Thursday

I'm so thankful for a super thoughtful text message and e-mail from a good friend yesterday. Her kind words cheered me up much more than any chocolate could!

I'm thankful Kael learned how to reach up and grab this thing at his school playground. He was sooo proud of himself!

I'm thankful for really positive feedback after our open house on Sunday. 

I'm thankful that there was no school on Monday and that the kids' friends got to come over and play.  Kael and Kylee had been counting down the days as he was soooo excited to hang with Ashley and Brooke! These are girls that I used to babysit but have grown up and now stay home after school instead of coming to my house. It was good to see them.

I'm thankful I've found the.perfect.house for us to move to.  Not so thankful it's much much much more money than we wanted to spend. ;)

I'm thankful I lasted this long before turning into a bad pregnant person. You guys, I was good for the majority of my pregnancy (and the previous two). I tried to eat healthier. I walked, did prenatal yoga, took my vitamins religiously. Well, not now. Last night I had Goldfish crackers for supper. I really did. I made a perfectly healthful meal for the fam, watched them eat it, then when the kids went to bed I ate a few handfuls of Goldfish. Blah. Food just hasn't sounded good at all lately! Minus the time last week when I went out for lunch with a girlfriend and told her I had no appetite then promptly ordered a wrap AND fries (I haven't ordered fries at a restaurant in like forever) and proceeded to eat every last bite. :) Also I went four days without any form of exercise. Ugghh. Worst of all I am somehow having an extreme aversion to maternity clothes. Like, I'm just done with them. I'm bored of all of them and refuse to buy more for the remaining nine weeks. So what exactly do I cover my big belly with these days, you ask? Mostly sweats. (If you're picturing me in Kent's old baseball sweats or a pair of Hanes sweats from Wal-Mart, fear not- it's not that bad yet!) So I just wear maternity jeans (because that's not even an option) with one of the tops from my jogging outfits or a hooded sweatshirt or occasionally something that used to be big on me. Mostly anything besides real maternity clothes.


I'm thankful that menus are planned, groceries are bought, laundry is done and the house is clean. I wish our house always looked the way it looks when we have a showing.


I'm so thankful for a great report at Kael's conferences. I could write a book on all the wonderful things I have to say about Kael's accomplishments and about how wonderful and understanding his teacher is but since I just wrote an entire post about it, I'll just leave it at this: 1) Kael is doing so well with reading comprehension that he is being moved to the "advanced" reading group namely because 2) Kael's teacher "gets" his autism and reaized that when the assessment method is altered (Kael reading to himself vs. teacher reading aloud) Kael is capable of a nearly perfect score on his reading tests.

I'd really like to say that I'm thankful it's barefoot weather, but it's a long ways away, folks.  I'm a barefoot kind of girl and honestly, I'm dying to bust out even some flip flops or sandals.  Just sayin'.

I'm thankful for this Crispy Southwest Chicken Wrap recipe. I had a some extra chicken and steak and some extra rice so I threw it all in and ended up making like 10 wraps which was AWESOME because Kent comes home a lot for lunch and it is wonderful having something ready for him. (I just wrapped them individually and froze them- to make sure they stay crispy when reheating them I just pop them in a skillet for a few minutes.) These things are a meal in themselves and so yummy and crispy!


I'm thankful no one at the library stared when I ran into pick up a book wearing my house slippers. Not just any slippers- big, fuzzy, bootlike white ones. I honestly didn't even realize I was wearing slippers instead of shoes until I walked in the door.

I'm thankful I finally got around to making a photo book for Kael for 2011.  I was not aware of the time committment involved when I decided to start making them. It took me the majority of the day yesterday and now I need to do one for KK.  Looking back at photos from last year sure brought back some great memories though!

Happy Thursday!

That kind of a day

I woke up early after not having slept well and could tell I was getting a cold. You know the kind where the back of your throat is all scratchy and you just kind of feel icky? Well, I stayed in bed.  Soon Kael joined me. "Mom?" he said.  "I have something kinda bad to tell you.  Yesterday when I was in PE none of the kids wanted me to be on their team and they called me annoying." 

So that's how my day started.  I talked with Kael for awhile to try and boost his spirits but I could tell he was feeling down and so was I.  Later I told Kent what Kael had said to me and of course, Kent was angry.  Shortly thereafter Kent and I were at each other's throats because I was sad and he was mad and it wasn't even 7:00AM yet.

Fast forward a bit and I got the kids off to school.  Stopped by the bank on the way home and all I had was a couple checks to deposit so I went through the drive.  I filled out my deposit slip like a pro becaues I used to work at the bank and it would drive me crazy when people would only half fill them out.  Let me tell you folks, my deposit slips are like a work of art.  Perfectly signed, dated, name/address filled out, and math all done correctly.  I know.  It's a gift.  Anyhow, I put all my stuff in the tube and sat there waiting.  And waiting.  People in the line beside me came and went.  I glanced in the window of the bank and saw the tellers chatting, drinking coffee.  Uggggh.  Normally I'm not one to crab about stuff like this because I worked at the bank- I know they're busier in there than they look.  But today, I just felt like I had to say something.  I leaned out my window to hit the "call" button to give them a piece of my mind and sitting right there was my tube, filled with all my deposit stuff.  I had never hit the send button.  While I was sitting there silently seething, the tellers inside were probably chatting about the crazy lady in lane 3 who forgot to send her tube in.  Duh Laura.

So I went home to unpack groceries and had a couple uneventful hours.  Fast forward again to lunch time.  Since I wasn't feeling great I decided to make some chicken noodle soup.  It boiled alllll over the stove.  Awesome.  Cleaned it up and decided to make a grilled cheese to go with my soup, only to find that when Kent came home over lunch he had used up the last regular pieces of bread and all that was left was a heel.  Whatever.  Made the grilled cheese anyways.  After all this I finally sat down to eat.  Dipped my grilled cheese in ketchup and a huge glob of ketchup slid right off the grilled cheese onto my shirt.  Great.  Cleaned myself up and sat down to eat the soup.  By now, it was cold.  Fantastic. At least I had just bought apples (something I have been majorly craving lately) so I decided to have one for dessert.  It was mushy.  Go figure, right?

So here it is, 1:41 on a Wednesday afternoon and I'm trying to figure out how to make my day go up from here.  I'm grumpy with Kent, I'm devastated for Kael, and I'm wearing a stained ketchup shirt.  Far be it from me to think that I have the world's biggest troubles.  The hiccups in my day are minor, I know.  But I'm just trying to figure out how to turn this day around.  Right now, I'm thinking chocolate.  Any other suggestions?? :)

I promise I'll be thankful tomorrow....

On autism

It's been quite awhile since I've posted anything about autism and/or about how Kael has been doing lately.  Several things have come up lately that prompted me to write this post.

First of all I spent some time talking with a friend about her son who has been diagnosed with the same diagnosis as Kael.  I don't know her son well at all, but just having someone to talk with about all the IEP stuff, school decisions and things like that was really nice.  Her son is younger than Kael and I can so empathize with all the things she's going through as I have been there before!

Secondly, I have a friend and someone close to her has been displaying a lot of the same behaviors Kael did at that age. She hears me talk about Kael often and is trying hard not to overstep her boundaries as how to help this kid.  Having been called outspoken a time or two in my life, it's all I can do but to stay on the outside and offer suggestions when really what I want to do is butt in and say, "Get him some help! Get him diagnosed! If you think there's anything going on- there are so many resources and people out there who can help him!"

Lastly, Kael has been doing really really well lately.  Perhaps that's not as noteworthy as you think.  But his mood, his interactions with kids his age- all of that has been great.  Therein lies a great problem and my main motivation for writing this.

"Don't you think he just outgrew it?"

"Don't you think his diagnosis was maybe wrong?"

"Don't you think maybe he never had 'it' in the first place?"

These questions swirl around me and my family (of course, no one actually says this to me- they just talk about it when I'm not around) and I'm completely torn about how I feel about these comments.  On one hand I can't help but think, "Wow! Kael is doing so well and has worked so hard that his diagnosis goes completely unnoticed to the average person!" And I also can't help but feel a little proud.  I push him harder than he needs to be pushed.  I expect a lot out of him because I know he has a lot to give.  I hold him to an incredibly high standard because I know he can handle it and I know he benefits from my crystal clear expectations.  Kael's unnoticed daily struggles do not go unnoticed to me because I am there day after day, by his side, pushing him forward and cheering for his successes. 


On the other hand, I do feel a little frustrated when I hear these comments are being made.  Kael no more has 'outgrown his autism' anymore than he could outgrow his red hair.  The very day we received the diagnosis the doctor said to us, "He will never outgrow this diagnosis.  Essentially there is no 'cure', but Kael will learn how to cope and many of his quirks will not be as prominent in the future as they are now."  For example, a person who has poor eyesight will wear glasses to compensate for that disability. Kael's brain is actually different than that of a neurotypical peer so he has to compensate for those differences.  His brain is wired differently.  He perceives things differently than I do because his brain is different.  That fact alone will never change. Once I realized and totally accepted this fact, my life with Kael became so much easier.  Instead of trying to make him see the world as I see it, I learned to see the world the way HE sees it.  And for an autistic kid, this world can be a difficult place to navigate.

So when people think he's "outgrown it" or think he "never had it in the first place" my first urge (as a person who thoroughly enjoys being right) is to correct them.  "You're wrong," I'd like to say.  But I don't.  I smile and respond, "Yeah, he's come a long ways because he's worked so very hard." And that's the truth.

To someone who only spends a couple hours at a time with Kael, or to someone who mostly spends time with Kael when he's eating his favorite food (pizza, Mexican food) or doing his favorite thing (wrestling, playing Wii), I can see how it would be easy to assusme Kael has no struggles different than an average 6 year old boy.  But spend a full day with him.  Spend three.  You'll start to see that he operates differently than you and I do.  You'll see a full range of emotions that he works so hard to keep in check.  You'll see his need for a schedule.  You'll see him react negatively to a last minute change of plans.  You'll see him not respond to a question you ask, but instead bring up a topic of  something that happened three years ago as if he never heard you ask a question in the first place.  But what you'll really see is a kid with a heart bigger than the sky. A kid who is dying to please.  A kid who doesn't want to fit in our society's neat little box.

I don't want Kael to be "better".  I want Kael to be Kael.  I don't want him to "outgrow it".  He is a champion because of all he has accomplished given the disadvantges he's overcome. The greatest compliment you could give (either to me, or when I'm not around ;) wouldn't be "Kael doesn't even seem autistic" but rather, "Kael seems so happy." Because ultimately, that's what matters the most.

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful Kylee was fine after sledding last weekend. She and Kael were going down the hill in my dad's backyard and she was in front when they smashed into a tree.  By fine, I mean she bit her tongue and blood was gushing out of her mouth.

I'm thankful that Kylee got to hear the baby's heartbeat at my last appointment.  I don't make it a habit of bringing the kids along to my appointments, but I'd had to reschedule this one and the only time I could go was a time that Kylee would be with me which I figured was ok since they just had to measure me and listen to the heartbeat.  It was cool that she got to hear it.

I'm thankful Kent comes home tomorrow!

I'm thankful Kael's friend is ok after a tumble from our treehouse last Sunday.  By ok, I mean he has a broken arm.  I felt absolutely horrible! Thankfully his parents have a very cool "boys will be boys" attitude about it all. Just so you know, Kent was out there with Kael and his buddy so it's not like the boys were roughhousing or outside unsupervised or anything like that.

I'm thankful my mother-in-law came to hang out on Wednesday.  Spending the afternoon chatting with her made my day fly by!

I'm thankful for Kael's school fundraiser night at Burger King.  They have one every month and we've only made it once so far.  Since Kent was out of town I decided to take the kids. I'm very thankful my mother-in-law went with us.  I can only take so much of fast-food playplaces on my own. :)

I'm thankful that today is Kylee's half birthday.  So I bought her a birthday cake.  Was it silly of me to hope I could walk into the Target bakery section and find a half of a cake? Because they do sell half pies ya know.  But alas, no half cakes so I found the prettiest, most chocolatey cake I could find, brought it home, cut it in half and put it on our cake stand.  I then promptly ate  hid the other half.  I try to be extra fun when Kent's out of town and since Kylee has a summer birthday I thought it would be fun to make her half birthday extra special.



She was thrilled when she woke up and saw her half cake! "Mom, did you bake this last night when I was sleeping? I bet you've never baked just half a cake before!" Then she ran to her room and put on a sundress to make sure she was fancy for her 4 and a half "birthday".


I'm thankful my phone still works after being dropped in the toilet.  Note to self: when your husband is out of town and you wear his sweatshirt because it fits better than your own clothes do you miss him, make sure you realize that the pocket in his sweatshirt hangs much lower than the pocket in your own sweatshirt might, making it far too easy for a cell phone to slip out of said pocket.

I'm thankful my mom came to hang out for awhile today.  It's so nice to have adult company while Kent is out of town and as often as we talk, it was nice to actually have more than a couple minutes here and there to catch up!

Happy Thursday!

On being pregnant

My heart skipped a beat. "Um, what did you say?" I asked my OB to repeat herself.

"I'll see you in two weeks," she repeated.  I thought that's what she had said. "You are in your third trimester now, Laura" she said smiling. 

Oh.  So now we're on to two week appointments instead of four week appointments.  Baby's official due date is only two and a half months away. How did that happen? (Pregnant) moms with older children, did you find that this happened to you too? You kept telling your kids that even though they're so excited to meet the baby, he won't actually be here for a very long time? Then all of the sudden it was a very short time?

Upon hearing this news I did the obvious- I drove straight to Massage Heights and scheduled the 90 minute maternity massage that Kent had bought me for Christmas.  No way was I going to chance that puppy going to waste. :) I had been saving it until the very end of my pregnancy, figuring I'd appreciate it most the farther along I was.  One of my girlfriends had her baby last week and even though I am not quite 30 weeks along, seeing her baby made me feel like my baby is coming.  Soon.

I should have paid more attention because there are some definite signs it's getting closer.  For example, I've started chewing ice. I was looking at Kylee's baby book the other day and there was a section for "mom ate...." and I had written "crushed ice". Lately I've had no appetite but have been chomping ice like it's my job.

This pregnancy is so different than my first two because Kael and Kylee are old enough to "get" it.  They're also old enough to keep me too busy to let myself be consumed with all things relating to pregnancy/baby. (Because you know I could lose myself on Pinterest looking at cute baby photo ideas, ways to decorate baby's room...oh how I love thinking about all this stuff again!) It is such a blessing going through this pregnancy and having them constantly feeling my belly, talking to my belly, and things like that.  There's a saying about shared grief is half the grief but shared joy is double the joy (I'm not sure that's an exact quote...) but I feel like this pregnancy is quadruple the joy.  It's not just Kent and I that get to be excited- we have Kael and Kylee to be excited with us. 

Years ago I would have guessed that I would have three children, all about two to three years apart.  I didn't plan for this one to be four and a half years younger, but God did.  And I'm so glad I can see that now.  It was His timing, not mine, that was right.  Just exactly, perfectly, right.


Baby we are getting so excited and ready to meet you!

 I find myself daydreaming about what he'll look like, what his personality will be like, what he'll be interested in.  *Sigh.  There's lots to do before he gets here, but I know it will all get done. I've realized that some of the details I thought were so important the first two times around were just that...details. 

So in the meantime, I'll just hurry up and wait. :)

Weekend Wrap- Up

Did you all have a great Super Bowl weekend? Kent and I hosted a little get together here with a couple friends we hadn't seen in far too long.  Since he and I had lost in the pick 'em league we were doing with the other couple, we hosted.  Kylee had fun helping me make lots of the food and Kent told me I should have taken a picture of the spread, but I was too busy chatting with my amiga. :) Here's a list with links of some of the things we made.  Bacon? Check. Chicken wings? Check. (Acutally, chicken poppers...they were delicious!) Cupcakes made with beer? Check. Sounds like the perfect football-watching food to me.

Peanut Butter Cup Brownies

Blue Moon Cupcakes

Cheddar Bacon Ranch Pulls

Sliders : Actually, we never got around to making these...I had full intentions of making them at halftime but no one seemed hungry enough.

Buffalo Chicken Poppers with Avocado Bleu Cheese Dip

We also played this Super Bowl Commercial Game where everyone, including the kids, put their initials in 3 of the squares to cast their votes for what commercials we'd see.  For me, this was just as fun as the acutal game itself. :)



Besides it being the big Super Bowl weekend, we spent all Saturday (really, I do mean all day,  from like 8 AM to 8 PM- lucky we all get along so well!) at my parents' house celebrating my dad's birthday and watching the snow fall.  T and Rob were back in town, Mandy, Justin and B were all there and we just had a blast hanging out all day.  My grandparents even braved the snowstorm and made it down for the amazing lunch my mom and dad made. 



Kylee and I made this Lemonade Cake for my dad.  I thought I didn't like lemon stuff that well, but it turned out pretty well!



Kael is so happy when he's playing in the snow. I just love to see him smile like that.



That's a big snowball!

  

Kent and Kael had fun making a little snowman family.  These two are Kent and me, then across the way there are two more snowmen- one for Kael and one for Kylee.



It's hard to tell from the picture but there was an extra bump on the front of my snowman.  :) My snowman had a cute little pregnant belly.



The girls.



Cutest niece ever.





We took advantage of the perfect snowball-making snow and had a good old-fashioned snowball fight- north side of the street vs. south side.  Mostly that meant kids vs. adults. Kent and Rob had a little too much fun zinging snowballs at the kids.



This stud left town this morning and won't be back 'til Friday.



Hope your weekend was wonderful!

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful we are ready for the 2012 pool season! We bought our pool passes last week and took advantage of the 10% early bird discount AND we had an additional credit on our account since Kent coached soccer this year.  What a deal!

I'm thankful traffic has picked up and we've had several showings over the last couple weeks on our house. 

I'm thankful it's almost the weekend and we have some fun plans to look forward to! Friday night we'll be cheering on the Ottumwa Bulldogs at Hoover, Saturday we'll be celebrating my dad's birthday, and Sunday we're having a Super Bowl get together here with some friends we haven't seen in far too long.  It's going to be a good weekend, folks.

I'd be crazy if I didn't mention that, once again, I'm so thankful for this beautiful weather.  It's unreal!

I'm thankful the name search is starting to get narrowed down.  Nothing has been decided for sure yet but I'm starting to come around on a couple names that Kent really likes.

I'm thankful my tax return is done and doubly thankful that my dad helps me do them. 

I'd like to say that I'm thankful one of my girlfriends had her baby but alas, no baby yet.  Hoping today is the day. :)

Lots to be thankful for today, but I'd rather be outside enjoying the weather than on the computer blogging about it. :) 'Til next week!