Sleepless in Ankeny

Blogging has taken a backseat in this new fall routine of ours, and I often find myself with lots to say but no time to say it.  Today, I certainly don't have the time but I'm going to try to make the time because writing always makes me feel better.  So, if you care to hop in this roller coaster of emotions- do read on. 

We survived (barely) several nights of Kent out of town for work.  My sweet little Kaser has decided that sleeping is just really not for him and wanted to make sure I really understood that while Kent was gone.  One night he was up at 9:00, 10:00, 11:15, 1:00, 3:15, 4:30 and 6:00.  I'd love to say this is atypical of him but it is slowly starting to become very very typical of him to be awake several times a night.  He refuses to fall asleep on his own and as of late, he has decided that I make a much better pacifier than those darn old plastic ones. I've been reading tons of stuff on sleep training and even called my wonderful pediatrician for any advice she might have.  Nothing works. So this morning I tried to lay him down awake and happy in his crib, hoping he'd drift off into an easy, peaceful sleep but instead I made my way back to him after lots of intense crying only to find my babe as if he'd just been through war- sweaty from crying so hard and scratches all over face and balling his little fists up and swinging them wildly about. I picked him up and his body was all but limp from exhaustion but he was not about to give in.  Once I snuggled him up in his favorite blanket and sang to him a little bit, he dropped off to blissful sleep. I have NO idea where he gets his bullheadedness from.  ;)

Last night Kent fed him a bottle of formula hoping it might help him sleep longer.  When Kase woke up 40 minutes after his bottle, I decided that he just was going to have to deal with being awake in his crib and I swore silently to myself that I would not pick him up. I stayed by him, patting his back, singing, anything to calm him down but it was all to no avail.  When his wailing turned to sounds of utter desperation, I caved.  I scooped him up in my arms and he let out the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life.  Two soft sighs of relief that clearly said, "Thanks Mama. I really needed you." Tears dripped slowly down my cheeks and I thought about how much I need him too. And how crazy much I love him. Then just before he totally cashed out, he wrapped his little fingers around my thumbs and gave two squeezes.  In this family, two squeezes is our secret sign for "I love you." I do it all the time to the big kids and even to Kent when we're out in public or with a group of friends and I don't want to be the embarrassing, mushy mom/wife.  I just give two quick squeezes of their hands and they know I mean, "I love you."  Sometimes it's met with a roll of the eyes, then a smile.  But it's always met with two squeezes back.  So, I squeezed Kase's little fingers back, twice.  And I'm certain he knew exactly what I meant. 

He's testing my patience, this one.  But I know there's a lesson in it all.  Slow down, Laura. These moments are trying, but they are fleeting.  Kase is more than likely going to be our last child and somehow, that makes it easier to find joy during the trying times- because it's the last time.  It's tough when he cries and doesn't sleep but I don't wish a single second of it away.  This too, shall pass, but it's already passing way too quickly.  And until it does, there's coffee.  So I'm good.  :)

How'd you get your kid(s) to sleep??