On remembering

"Change it to track 13.  I like that song," Kael said to me as we were driving Kylee to tumbling.

I had just put a Christmas CD in that we rarely listen to and certainly haven't listened to since last Christmas. But I was curious, so I obliged. It was Silent Night.

"I like this one too, Kael."

"Yeah, number 4 is a good one.  And so is 17." 

I smiled, knowing what was about to happen.

"Kael, you know all the songs and what number they are on the CD, don't you?"

"Yes, actually I know both of them (it's a 2 disc set, folks).  Number 1 on this CD is All I Want for Christmas, Number 1 on the other one is Holy Night.  Number 2 on this one is White Christmas and...."

I won't list the rest of the 32 tracks for you, like Kael did for me.  But he knew them.  All of them.  In order.

I am as fascinated by his brain today as I am the day we got his diagnosis.  And once again, I am baffled by the fact that he can remember complete lists of seemingly random things he hears once a year, but is incapable of completing any multi-step task I give him at home. "Kael, go upstairs and get your shoes.  Also put your laundry away while you're up there." He makes it upstairs.  Maybe grabs his shoes.  But definitely does not remember to put laundry away. I walk up and catch him staring out the window.  "Um, Mom what was I supposed to be doing?" 

I just finished reading The Journal of Best Practices,  a book written buy a man who has Asperger's Syndrome (which isn't exactly Kael's diagnosis, but very similar) and his quest to be a better husband. Some of the author's comments literally had me laughing out loud, not because the thoughts themselves were really that funny, but they were just...so....Kael.  Even though the author is in is 30s, I saw Kael on every page.  For those of you whoever question Kael's diagnosis or are curious about what might be going on in his head- read this book.  It will give you just a glimpse of what Kael deals with every day.  The book also gave me SUCH a great attitude for Kael's future.  Of course, every parent hopes their child finds their perfect match in a spouse, and of course, I assume and hope that Kael will get married.  Reading about the wife in this book, and her patience with her husband made me feel so reassured that one day, God will send a girl like that into Kael's life.

Lots of you have asked about how Kael's year is going, and I appreciate those who take time to really care about what's going on with him.  Truth is, he's doing as well with the transition to a new school as I'd hoped.  Maybe even better.  There are hard days, like when a game of tag doesn't go exactly the way he wanted it to, bringing him to tears of rage on the playground after school. Or when I look on the wall of self-portraits in the classroom and Kael's is the only one who still has a stick figure.  But, his teacher really gets him.  She knows he struggles with fine motor stuff (ie, handwriting isn't the neatest) and her attitude for that is, "Kids these days barely need to put pencil to paper.  Honestly, don't you even use your iPhone for grocery lists and stuff? Kael will be able to use technology to his advantage.  He knows how to write and I can read it.  Not a big deal if it isn't perfectly neat." She pushes him when she thinks he can do better (Kael is dying to learn multiplication tables- something they don't usually do in second grade, but she dug out a bunch of multiplication activities just for him) but let's it go when it's something minor.

He's making friends, and I am THRILLED when I peek out the window and see him joining a football game with peers at recess.  He's confident when he needs to be, but I know he's self-conscious about things too.  Just the other day he asked me if I could take a few practice pictures of him (he has a tendency to squint his eyes in photos) for when he gets to be The Big Deal in his class (which will happen in April, by the way :).

So, for those of you who keep an eye out for Kael, or anyone in your life who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder...thank you.  Thanks for trying to understand him.  Thanks for being patient with him.  Thanks for not acting like he doesn't have "it".  Thanks for not giving in to him.  Thanks for realizing he's different, but not making him feel like he is.  Thanks for remembering what a special kid he is.