Almost a first grader

I was not one of those moms who cried on the first day of kindergarten. I was so excited for Kael to start a new chapter in his life that crying didn't even cross my mind. Plus, if he would have seen me cry he would have for sure started worrying about why I was leaving him there if it was worth crying about.

That said, the end of the kindergarten year is drawing to a close and I find myself completely unprepared to have a first grader. I have no doubt the tears will start rolling the day I drop him off for his last day of kindergarten. Where did the year go? As I begin compiling a list for Kael's first grade teacher of the ins and outs of Kael's personality and diagnosis, I thought I'd share a few with you all.

Top 5 things Kael would like you to know about him that he can't put into words. (that's a really long title, isn't it?:)

1. Don't tease me. It might seem like I am enjoying it at first but eventually I will become frustrated because I don't understand and there's a good chance you will get bopped. I also don't really understand sarcasm. Really. It's better for everyone if you just don't tease me or be sarcastic with me. My mom has a zero tolerance policy for this kind of stuff so if you mess with me you're going to have to answer to her.

2. If you really want me to hear you, please get down to my level and look me in the eyes. This is very important if you are talking to me about safety issues or a task that you need me to carry out properly. I know it's an extra effort for you to bend down but really, I will understand you so much better.

3. Please don't make me transition at the drop of a hat. If I am expected to stop playing catch and get in the car to go to errands I would greatly appreciate a 5 minute warning. Then go ahead and count it out for me. Please do this for me, especially if I am expected to stop doing something I love and do something I am not excited about.

"Kael in 5 minutes we need to go to the store."

"I don't want to. I'm playing catch."

"I understand Kael, but we need to go so I can get some things for supper. Now we have 3 minutes left."

No response.

"Kael it's almost time to go. We have one minute left so why don't you do two more catches then we'll hop in the van."

"Ok."

4. You already know I have a great memory and right now I am into using that memory to talk about birthdays. If I have ever met you and you have ever told me your age or birthday, there is a very good chance I will remember. I really really really enjoy telling you about all the birthdays I know. I can rattle off the ages of all my extended family and all of my close friends and most of their parents and siblings. I don't understand why you might get tired of listening about birthdays. But I need to be taught that this is not something that people typically talk about exhaustively and I am a fast learner so please help me. ***Here's a sample conversation of how you can help Kael.

"Did you know that my friend Sam is 9 and his birthday is June 14? Also his mom is 31 and his sister Leah is 6. Do you know when her birthday is?"

"No, Kael, I don't."

"It is May 15. Do you know who else has a birthday in May? My grandma Ama. She is 55. My Aunt Chris has a birthday in May too. May 17. "

"That's interesting, Kael. You love to talk about birthdays and it's so cool that you can remember that many ages and birthdays!" (building his ego a little bit here)

"Yeah. Do you know how old my mom is? She's 28 just like my dad."

"I did know that Kael. You really have an amazing memory Kael but I would like to talk about something else. (give him a direction to go with this information) I'd love to hear you tell me about your tee ball game you had on Saturday."

"I have a friend named Joe on my team and he's 6 like me. His birthday is in January."

"That's great Kael but I'd rather hear more about the game than about your friends' birthdays. How about you tell me 2 more birthdays (give him a specific limit) then we're going to talk about how many hits you got in the game."

Hopefully he will tell you a couple more birthdays then talk about tee ball. If he doesn't, then gently remind him, "Kael, I'm done talking about birthdays now. Remember? I said we were going to talk about tee ball now."

5. Sometimes you might ask me a question and I will respond with something completely unrelated.

"Kael, how was school today?"

"Mom, I think Grandpa Terry is a little bit taller than Dad."

This used to frustrate me to no end. I would say, "Kael, did you hear what I said? I didn't ask you about how tall they were. I asked you about school!" But the more time that passes, the better I understand Kael. If you ask him something and he give you an unrelated response, here's what probably happened: he wasn't interested at all in what you were asking (not that he was trying to be rude, but he just doesn't talk about stuff that isn't interesting to him), he didn't hear you, or maybe your question wasn't specific enough for him to know what to say. For example, if I had stopped what I was doing, looked him in the eye and said, "Kael what did you do in PE today?" I would have gotten a much more appropriate response.

Well, there are a few more Kael tips for you. I will try to keep listing these as the summer goes on-it's actually quite helpful for me to blog about them because once the school year starts I can just revisit all these lists I've made and print them out for his new teachers. Hope every post like this helps you understand Kael a little bit better!