"Dear God,

could you please help Kael stop being so mean to all my friends?" I overheard Kylee as she said her prayers the other night.

Thud went my heart as it dropped to the floor. I took a deep breath, and sighed, wondering how to approach her.  The truth is, being the sibling of an autistic child is hard.  One that Kylee has handled with charm and strength  as well as you could expect any five year old to handle it.  Especially considering that she doesn't even really know that he's autistic.  Neither does he, if you're curious.

The kind of things Kael had been doing went beyond typical brother-sister "I'm going to bother you and your friends because your friends are here and mine aren't" stuff.  He was really frustrating them and he didn't even realize it.

I've seen it coming and have tried to stop it.  For example, during a Little League game last year I heard another mom say to her son in a hushed voice, "Just try to stay away from him then." I had a bad feeling about it so I asked her if she was talking about Kael and I could tell she didn't want to cause a big fuss.  "It's ok, just typical 7 year old boy stuff," she replied.  She was trying so hard to be nice.  I knew she wasn't going to tell me what was going on so I did something I never do. I blurted out, "He's autistic.  If you can tell me what's going on, I can talk with him about it and try to make it better." Instantly her face softened (which is why I rarely say anything so blunt- I don't want the autism to be an excuse for his behavior, but rather an explanation) and she said she'd had no idea then out came the story. Kael had been bullying this kid in the dugout.  Say what??? Kael, who has been on the receiving end of such mean, unjust behavior, was being the bully? It took me a lot of talking with Kael to get to the bottom of it all, but suffice to say he saw all the other kids goofing off in the dugout and he was just trying to do the same.  Social things are so tricky. Turns out this kid had been making some sort of "angry noise" that really bothered Kael's supersensitive ears so that's why Kael was taking it out on him.

As an aside, I found out the hard way it is not always good advice to tell your kid to "just stay away from him/her if they're bothering you" because I don't want kids to stay away from Kael.  I want them to not give up on Kael so he can have a chance to learn how to interact with them. Well, once Kylee came home from school telling me about a kid who always bothered everyone so I told her to just stay away from him.  When I got to the school program (in May, no less) I spent some time around the kid and realized that he was autistic. Doi. What I should have told her is what I wish people would tell their kids (referring to Kael), "Well, Kylee, if he's bothering you maybe he just needs a little extra attention.  How could you try to be his friend? How could you try to include him?" 

There's a lot I don't know about being a mom.  A lot I don't know about being the mom of an autistic son.  But I'm learning; figuring it out, day by day.

On autism

It's been quite awhile since I've posted anything about autism and/or about how Kael has been doing lately.  Several things have come up lately that prompted me to write this post.

First of all I spent some time talking with a friend about her son who has been diagnosed with the same diagnosis as Kael.  I don't know her son well at all, but just having someone to talk with about all the IEP stuff, school decisions and things like that was really nice.  Her son is younger than Kael and I can so empathize with all the things she's going through as I have been there before!

Secondly, I have a friend and someone close to her has been displaying a lot of the same behaviors Kael did at that age. She hears me talk about Kael often and is trying hard not to overstep her boundaries as how to help this kid.  Having been called outspoken a time or two in my life, it's all I can do but to stay on the outside and offer suggestions when really what I want to do is butt in and say, "Get him some help! Get him diagnosed! If you think there's anything going on- there are so many resources and people out there who can help him!"

Lastly, Kael has been doing really really well lately.  Perhaps that's not as noteworthy as you think.  But his mood, his interactions with kids his age- all of that has been great.  Therein lies a great problem and my main motivation for writing this.

"Don't you think he just outgrew it?"

"Don't you think his diagnosis was maybe wrong?"

"Don't you think maybe he never had 'it' in the first place?"

These questions swirl around me and my family (of course, no one actually says this to me- they just talk about it when I'm not around) and I'm completely torn about how I feel about these comments.  On one hand I can't help but think, "Wow! Kael is doing so well and has worked so hard that his diagnosis goes completely unnoticed to the average person!" And I also can't help but feel a little proud.  I push him harder than he needs to be pushed.  I expect a lot out of him because I know he has a lot to give.  I hold him to an incredibly high standard because I know he can handle it and I know he benefits from my crystal clear expectations.  Kael's unnoticed daily struggles do not go unnoticed to me because I am there day after day, by his side, pushing him forward and cheering for his successes. 


On the other hand, I do feel a little frustrated when I hear these comments are being made.  Kael no more has 'outgrown his autism' anymore than he could outgrow his red hair.  The very day we received the diagnosis the doctor said to us, "He will never outgrow this diagnosis.  Essentially there is no 'cure', but Kael will learn how to cope and many of his quirks will not be as prominent in the future as they are now."  For example, a person who has poor eyesight will wear glasses to compensate for that disability. Kael's brain is actually different than that of a neurotypical peer so he has to compensate for those differences.  His brain is wired differently.  He perceives things differently than I do because his brain is different.  That fact alone will never change. Once I realized and totally accepted this fact, my life with Kael became so much easier.  Instead of trying to make him see the world as I see it, I learned to see the world the way HE sees it.  And for an autistic kid, this world can be a difficult place to navigate.

So when people think he's "outgrown it" or think he "never had it in the first place" my first urge (as a person who thoroughly enjoys being right) is to correct them.  "You're wrong," I'd like to say.  But I don't.  I smile and respond, "Yeah, he's come a long ways because he's worked so very hard." And that's the truth.

To someone who only spends a couple hours at a time with Kael, or to someone who mostly spends time with Kael when he's eating his favorite food (pizza, Mexican food) or doing his favorite thing (wrestling, playing Wii), I can see how it would be easy to assusme Kael has no struggles different than an average 6 year old boy.  But spend a full day with him.  Spend three.  You'll start to see that he operates differently than you and I do.  You'll see a full range of emotions that he works so hard to keep in check.  You'll see his need for a schedule.  You'll see him react negatively to a last minute change of plans.  You'll see him not respond to a question you ask, but instead bring up a topic of  something that happened three years ago as if he never heard you ask a question in the first place.  But what you'll really see is a kid with a heart bigger than the sky. A kid who is dying to please.  A kid who doesn't want to fit in our society's neat little box.

I don't want Kael to be "better".  I want Kael to be Kael.  I don't want him to "outgrow it".  He is a champion because of all he has accomplished given the disadvantges he's overcome. The greatest compliment you could give (either to me, or when I'm not around ;) wouldn't be "Kael doesn't even seem autistic" but rather, "Kael seems so happy." Because ultimately, that's what matters the most.

Closing the book on Kael's IEP

I spoke with Kael's special ed teacher Friday, and she, along with Kael's regular teacher, are suggesting that he be dismissed from his IEP. 

I immediately talked with Kent about it and showed him the Social Skills Rubric his teachers have used in observing Kael.  We could both clearly see that Kael was exceeding the goals that we, as a team, had set for him last April. Kent's first words were, "Don't you just want to give him a big hug? And celebrate?!" And I do.  I am so proud of Kael for all he has done and how hard he has worked.

So, today I went in and met with the teacher so we could talk a little more about the next step. She looked at me and said, "Laura, this is a huge success.  Kael is doing so well- he's not at all discrepant from his peers socially or academically."  She continued, "It doesn't make sense for us to keep collecting data when Kael is continually meeting his goals."  She paused.  I must read like a book because even though I was hearing what she was saying, I was thinking about something else. "You're worried," she said matter-of-factly. Well, yes. We are switching schools next year (boundary lines are changing due to another elementary school opening) and I am really nervous about sending Kael to 2nd grade with no help, no support system, no reason for me to e-mail the special ed teacher at the new building anytime I feel. Not only that- it's only September! Kael has the whole rest of the year to get through at his current school without his IEP.  "Laura, you can e-mail me anytime you have a concern about anything- I'll still be available and I'll still pop in and see him sometimes.  He just won't have this IEP anymore.  That's really the ultimate goal of this whole process anyways, right? To have him independently go about his day? Well, he's doing that.  And he'll keep doing that."

She was right.  And Kent and I are on board with this whole IEP dismissal thing...but that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry.  Because I still see him forgetting things.  I still see him struggling to stay on task.  But I'm learning that it's all about my lens.  I have held Kael to a very high standard and realize that sometimes I'm too hard on him.  I've been volunteering in his classroom once a week and I've noticed that all the other kids forget things sometimes. I've noticed that all the other kids aren't staying on task all the time. I've noticed that other kids blurt out answers without waiting to be called on.   I've noticed that Kael is more or less one of them. 

Dismissing Kael from his IEP does not make him any more or any less autistic.  It does mean that he's learned to cope when things are difficult and to do what he's expected to do.  And you know what? He's going to be just fine.  Scratch that.  He's going to be great.

Almost a first grader

I was not one of those moms who cried on the first day of kindergarten. I was so excited for Kael to start a new chapter in his life that crying didn't even cross my mind. Plus, if he would have seen me cry he would have for sure started worrying about why I was leaving him there if it was worth crying about.

That said, the end of the kindergarten year is drawing to a close and I find myself completely unprepared to have a first grader. I have no doubt the tears will start rolling the day I drop him off for his last day of kindergarten. Where did the year go? As I begin compiling a list for Kael's first grade teacher of the ins and outs of Kael's personality and diagnosis, I thought I'd share a few with you all.

Top 5 things Kael would like you to know about him that he can't put into words. (that's a really long title, isn't it?:)

1. Don't tease me. It might seem like I am enjoying it at first but eventually I will become frustrated because I don't understand and there's a good chance you will get bopped. I also don't really understand sarcasm. Really. It's better for everyone if you just don't tease me or be sarcastic with me. My mom has a zero tolerance policy for this kind of stuff so if you mess with me you're going to have to answer to her.

2. If you really want me to hear you, please get down to my level and look me in the eyes. This is very important if you are talking to me about safety issues or a task that you need me to carry out properly. I know it's an extra effort for you to bend down but really, I will understand you so much better.

3. Please don't make me transition at the drop of a hat. If I am expected to stop playing catch and get in the car to go to errands I would greatly appreciate a 5 minute warning. Then go ahead and count it out for me. Please do this for me, especially if I am expected to stop doing something I love and do something I am not excited about.

"Kael in 5 minutes we need to go to the store."

"I don't want to. I'm playing catch."

"I understand Kael, but we need to go so I can get some things for supper. Now we have 3 minutes left."

No response.

"Kael it's almost time to go. We have one minute left so why don't you do two more catches then we'll hop in the van."

"Ok."

4. You already know I have a great memory and right now I am into using that memory to talk about birthdays. If I have ever met you and you have ever told me your age or birthday, there is a very good chance I will remember. I really really really enjoy telling you about all the birthdays I know. I can rattle off the ages of all my extended family and all of my close friends and most of their parents and siblings. I don't understand why you might get tired of listening about birthdays. But I need to be taught that this is not something that people typically talk about exhaustively and I am a fast learner so please help me. ***Here's a sample conversation of how you can help Kael.

"Did you know that my friend Sam is 9 and his birthday is June 14? Also his mom is 31 and his sister Leah is 6. Do you know when her birthday is?"

"No, Kael, I don't."

"It is May 15. Do you know who else has a birthday in May? My grandma Ama. She is 55. My Aunt Chris has a birthday in May too. May 17. "

"That's interesting, Kael. You love to talk about birthdays and it's so cool that you can remember that many ages and birthdays!" (building his ego a little bit here)

"Yeah. Do you know how old my mom is? She's 28 just like my dad."

"I did know that Kael. You really have an amazing memory Kael but I would like to talk about something else. (give him a direction to go with this information) I'd love to hear you tell me about your tee ball game you had on Saturday."

"I have a friend named Joe on my team and he's 6 like me. His birthday is in January."

"That's great Kael but I'd rather hear more about the game than about your friends' birthdays. How about you tell me 2 more birthdays (give him a specific limit) then we're going to talk about how many hits you got in the game."

Hopefully he will tell you a couple more birthdays then talk about tee ball. If he doesn't, then gently remind him, "Kael, I'm done talking about birthdays now. Remember? I said we were going to talk about tee ball now."

5. Sometimes you might ask me a question and I will respond with something completely unrelated.

"Kael, how was school today?"

"Mom, I think Grandpa Terry is a little bit taller than Dad."

This used to frustrate me to no end. I would say, "Kael, did you hear what I said? I didn't ask you about how tall they were. I asked you about school!" But the more time that passes, the better I understand Kael. If you ask him something and he give you an unrelated response, here's what probably happened: he wasn't interested at all in what you were asking (not that he was trying to be rude, but he just doesn't talk about stuff that isn't interesting to him), he didn't hear you, or maybe your question wasn't specific enough for him to know what to say. For example, if I had stopped what I was doing, looked him in the eye and said, "Kael what did you do in PE today?" I would have gotten a much more appropriate response.

Well, there are a few more Kael tips for you. I will try to keep listing these as the summer goes on-it's actually quite helpful for me to blog about them because once the school year starts I can just revisit all these lists I've made and print them out for his new teachers. Hope every post like this helps you understand Kael a little bit better!

IEP meeting

People really seem to respond to these posts about Kael, so I thought I would take some time to write about the Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting we had Monday morning. I realize IEPs are required by law, but I can't help but feel incredibly blessed to be raising Kael in a school district with the resources to serve him so well. I also can't say enough about the educators we have been working with- I have never felt like Kael is "just a number". The IEP proves that the people who work with Kael at school really have taken the time to get to know him- not just in reference to strengths/weaknesses, but also in terms of personality. How lucky I am to know Kael is so well cared for when he's away from home. Well, I'll dig right in. For his kindergarten year, Kael had two goals. The first one is considered a speech/language goal and the main copmonent is his ability to retell a story (this displays reading comprehension). He started the year retelling a story using 8 words. Kindergarten expectations are that a child retell a story with at least 50 total words spoken. He worked with a speech/language patholigist twice a week for about twenty minutes throughout the school year. Kael's most recent story retell was over 100 words! He has maintained an above 80 word average for the last three months. Didn't I tell you he was a hard-worker?! His speech teacher actually said she wished she would have taped it to use as an example for the other kids. I am so so so proud of him. The next goal is a social one. This one is a little harder for me to paraphrase so I'll just write it exactly as it appears on the IEP: Kael is able to look at peers in social situations, share items, ask for items to be shared, ask for information, and physically approach peers to engage in activities. Kael has difficulty with non-routine tasks, listening to peers speak without interrupting, giving peers their personal space, and staying on task without being prompted. Kael was observed and a rating scale (1-5 for each behavior) was filled out daily by his classroom teacher for the following three behaviors: staying on task, listening/attention-related behaviors, and following directions. At the beginning of the year Kael's median score was 4, while typical peer's median scores were 12. So, Kael's goal was to be at a 12 for three consecutive weeks. Kael got to go to his special edcuation teacher's room twenty minutes every day to work on social skills, and I am happy to report he met this goal too! Way to go Kael! I was worried that since he is meeting his goals so well that they might not allow him to be on an IEP (in other words, no services for Kael) next year. I am really excited about what we came up with. So, here's the plan for his first-grade year. He will drop his speech goal completely. I am fine with this because I know the comprehension is there, and since we will still have an IEP in place, if this becomes an issue again we can easily write it back into his plan. We will continue a social goal and again, his general education teacher will observe and give him a rating on several behaviors: ignores distractions, asks for help, takes home and brings belongings to class, refrains from blurting/raises hand and waits turn, and expresses frustration/feelings. These may seem like small things but they are BIG things for Kael. I know he will work hard to master these skills next year and will gain so much independence! He will still be allowed time in his special education room, but we are cutting that time to just 10 minutes a day instead of 20. We receive updated reports at each conference (which will be November, then again next February) and will have another official IEP meeting next spring. Looking back, I can't believe we ever hesitated with sending Kael to school this year. He has continued to meet and exceed each challenge we present to him. We are so proud of you buddy!

Kael 101

I should have called my last post about Kael's diagnosis something other than Autism 101 because in re-reading it I realized I didn't actually write that much about autism. But it did open a few eyes I think, as far as helping people understand Kael a little bit better. The most current statistic I found was that 1 in 90 kids in America are diagnosed with some form of autism- so even if you don't know Kael, chances are pretty good that you know a child with autism.

People kept saying to me, "I read your post about Kael and I had no idea!" To that I reply, "Great!" Not because I want to hide Kael's autism but rather I think it's so wonderful that all of the work he's done has paid off. As I mentioned, we have had people (AEA, doctors, teachers) working with Kael since he was just over a year and a half old. There were times I wondered if he would ever talk, make eye contact, or thrive in a general eduaction classroom. To see how far he's come, and for the general public to think he's totally "normal" (the autism community would probably rather I use the term "neurotypical") is truly a testament to how hard Kael has worked. What matters to me is not that people think Kael is "normal", but rather that he receives the same treatment and opportunities as a "normal" child would. So for those of you out there who had no idea about Kael- wonderful! I hope these blog posts continue to keep you updated about Kael and his amazing progress!


Here is the more appropriately titled Kael 101. Just a few tidbits- I would do a Kael Top 10 but I fear it would get pretty lengthy...


He has an AMAZING memory. The other day he said, "Mom, Monday is purple, Tuesday is green, Wednesday is red, Thursday is blue and Friday is orange." I know his brain well enough to assume he was talking about a calendar of some sort that he had seen but I inquired about which calendar he might be referring to. He looked at me as if it couldn't be more obvious, "Mom, those were the colors of our days on the calendar at Triad." Triad is where he went to preschool when he was 2. Wow.

Conversely, he has trouble remembering directions. Especially if multiple steps are involved. If I were to say, "Kael, go to your room, put your shoes on and don't forget to grab your backpack", chances are he would make it to his room, then forget what he was supposed to be doing there. I've been lucky enough to devise a simple solution- I say, "Kael, go to your room. When you get there I need you to do 2 things (hold up two fingers). First, (touch one finger) put your shoes on. Second (touch second finger) grab your backpack." And as he starts to walk away I say, "Kael, remember 2 things." This works wonders. The simple act of him seeing me physically hold up and touch two fingers reminds him that he needs to do two things and helps his brain break it down a little bit.

Kael's ears are a constant source of discomfort for him. Poor guy. He had tubes put in his ears when he was 3 but he continues to battle ear infections well past an age where many kids have outgrown them. If there is any sort of fluid on his ear, he is irritable.

Kael's sense of balance is unbelievable. He almost never slips, trips, falls, missteps or anything like that. There's a park close by that has a big climbing structure and ever since Kael was little, I don't worry about him at all when he's climbing that high. Kael is somehow subconciously aware of his position at all times. (Oh, if Kylee only got some of that balance- or if we could have somehow split it 50/50 between the kids. We jokingly call her Kylee Grace because she sure could use some gracefulness...)

It is not uncommon for Kael to throw up. It's just not a big deal to him. Half way into his kindergarten year he had thrown up 3 times at school alone. His teacher said one time it was his turn in a math game, he just went to the front of the room, threw up in the trash can then went about his turn. Kids on the autism spectrum tend to have tummy troubles of some sort and Kael's is his tendency to throw up.

Sensory issues are very real to him. Example: right now as I'm writing this, I can see Kylee giving Kent a kiss, hear Kael playing Wii, feel the warmth of our fireplace, smell the conditioner in my hair...but yet I can focus on the writing I'm doing. Kael's brain cannot prioritize all the things he is sensing. For example, at school he might hear his teacher talk but can't recognize that as more important than the noise of the air conditioner humming, or the girls next to him whispering or the smell of the school cafeteria.

There are a lot of scary statistics out there about autism. One is that currently costs assciated with raising an autistic child are approximately 3.2 million. Of course, Kael falls on the much more high-functioning end of the spectrum, so he doesn't require as many therapies and aids as some other children might. But, if you're looking for a fun way to get involved, here is an event that's coming up:

http://www.holesforhopefoundation.org/.


I can honestly say that not a day goes by that I wish Kael was "normal". Do I wish his life was a little easier? Sure, but just like every other mom in the world wishes for her children, the only wish that I have for my Kael is that he is truly happy. I love that little guy so very much.

Autism 101

I've mentioned this only briefly before but thought it might be helpful for me to elaborate a little on Kael's diagnosis. Mostly because when Kael was dianosed, I would have loved to have known then what I know now. I do not pretend to be an expert on Autism but I am an expert on Kael. :)

Kael's official diagnosis from the University of Iowa in June 2009 is Pervasive Development Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. If you're anything like I was when I first heard them, you hear those words and they mean nothing. If you want to know and understand Kael, they will come to mean everything. When Kael was very little and we started working with the local AEA, people kept telling us, "Yes, he's a late talker and yes he has some quirks but he's just not that bad." In other words, we can't help you. People didn't really start helping us with him until we got an official diagnosis. That said, Kael's diagnosis does not define him- he is first and foremost one of the most fun-loving, kind hearted little boys you'll ever meet. His dianosis is not an excuse but rather an explanation for some of his behaviors.


What I'm doing:

I write a "Kael's Daily Report" every day when he gets home from school. Sometime it's just a sentence, sometimes a paragraph. I write anything that seems important for that day: what color he landed on, who he played with at recess, anything that bothered him, if he forgot anything at school, stuff like that. It really helps me keep track of how he's doing and I can see if patterns emerge (example- if he always forget things at school on Fridays, or if he's more agitated on Guidance days, etc.).

We have our family calendar, but recently I've also started Kael a calendar of his own in his room. He can write anything that is important for him. For example, last week Kael needed a haircut. He needs time to get used to the idea (he has always been slightly startled by the sound of hair dryers) so I give him control by telling him, "Kael, this week you need a haircut. Please pick which night you'd like to go and write it on your calendar." He picked Wednesday which gave him two or three days to prepare himself, then when Wednesday came he confidently went to his haircut without any argument.

I also use this calendar to write out our menus for the week (assuming I have them planned). Food is important to Kael (he's such a boy!) and if he knows his favorite meal is coming up, it gives him something to look forward to. On the flipside, if I'm making something that's not his favorite, he can prepare for that too.

(My) Kael's notebook. A friend told me she was doing something similar for her son and I find it to be incredibly helpful for myself and for Kael's teachers (he has 3 teachers he sees frequently: general ed, special ed, and speech) It's just a quick snapshot of Kael and his diagnosis for someone to be able to look at if they are not familiar with Kael. It's also very helpful for those who aren't at all familiar with ASD kids. They say if you've met one kid on the autism spectrum, you have met only that kid. That is to say that while they share some characteristics, no two ASD kids are exactly alike. Here's what it includes: a "Top Ten" list of things to know about Kael (I will try to post this list sometime- currently his book is at school and I can't remember all the things off the top of my head), his report cards, his IEP, copies of (highlited) literature that pertain to his diagnosis, his official diagnosis report from the University of Iowa, and a few blank pages for teacher comments/concerns.

Reading. A lot. Here are my favorites:

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm. This is a must-read for anyone who knows someone with Autism. In other words, everyone should read this book! It's an easy read and gives such a great summary of what kids on the autism spectrum go through every day.


It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend by Richard Lavoie. Chapter 14 on Aspberger's touches on a lot of the difficulties Kael has, and how to best deal with them. The chapter on anxiety is also pertinent.




How To Make School Make Sense by Clare Lawrence. This is one of the first books I read and I still recall several of the ideas. We just recently put one in place- a list for Kael (now that he can read- woo hoo!!) to check at the end of every day to make sure he is bringing all necessary items home from school. Instead of his teacher saying, "Kael did you get your backpack? lunchbox? coat?" we can boost his independence by letting him read his list and gather all of his items. Independence boost= ego boost.




What I'm not doing (I feel this is equally important as what I am doing):


Altering his diet. A GFCF (Gluten-free, Casein-free) diet is just not necessary for him at this time. That's not to say I haven't thought about it. It would absolutely be life-altering for us as a family and I'm not sure it would alter Kael's behavior that much.




Worrying about meds. There has been quite a bit of media coverage lately about using Namenda (Alzheimer's perscription medicine) for kids on the autism spectrum with mostly positive results. Again, we're just not there yet. I'm not 100% against it if we ever get to that point but overall Kael is doing so well with the modifications we've made that medicating him is not necessary.

Talking to Kael about his Autism. They say kids on the spectrum start to "realize" they are different around age 7. I suspect Kael will know sooner but I truly feel now is not the time to talk about it with him. I sure hope I know when the time is right and pray I handle it well. There was a very powerful episode of Parenthood on recently that showed how the parents told (the boy actually found out accidentally) and explained Aspberger's to their son. I think it's really cool how topics so very real like Autism are starting to work their ways into our TV lineups. Knowledge is power and I can't help thinking that the more people who know about and understand Autism will in turn lead to a much less harsh world for Kael to grow up in.

What you can do:


Show him love, patience, understanding and kindness. They say that everyone you meet might be fighting a bigger battle than you are and that couldn't be more true for Kael. Everything he does is more difficult for him than it is for the neurotypical 5 year old boy. It's hard for him to make eye contact. It's hard for him to carry on a conversation. It's hard for him to wear blue jeans because he hates the material. It's hard for him to read social cues. It's hard for him to make and keep friends. It's hard for him to filter all the sensory input he's dealing with. He works hard at everything we consider second nature.


Kael, I love you for your sense of humor, your no-strings-attached love, your determination, your honesty, your protectiveness, your caring nature and everything else about you. God gave you to me to teach me a little patience, a little restraint and a lot of hope. Kael, you are so loved!